Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Gordon, 28, an aspiring animator, leaves his home in Oregon to sell his ideas to Hollywood. After being told, correctly, that they are quite possibly the most stupid ideas ever and that he needs to spend time rethinking them, he moves back home. But his father, never a kind man, escalates his mean treatment of his rather unconventional son. (Imdb rating 4.0)

I don't know of any movie from a major Hollywood studio that got panned more when it came out then Freddy Got Fingered. And I can see why. It literally makes zero sense. Sure, it has a plot, but it is so fucking dumb, much like everything else about this movie.

And you know what? I actually liked it. It goes straight for shock-laughs in such a way that even the American Pie series would call it a day. There is no subtlety here. Tom Green jumps on a conveyor belt and slaps old ladies in the face with pepporoni yelling "Ding dong! I'm a sexy boy!" He jacks off an elephant, covering his dad in semen. He puts a suit on backwards, shouting "I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can run back as fast as you can." He sticks his arms into a pregnant women, delivers the baby, then bites off the umbilical cord. And of course there is a scene of how he gets creative...

Daddy, would like some sausage???

It's actually kind of post-modern as well, when a cartoon production house bigwigs says his drawings aren't bad...but they just don't make sense, they're not funny, and they're stupid, just like this movie. Main character Gordy, while being a piece of shit in every other way, is a romantic, pleading with the girl he is dating not to give him a blowjob until after they go on a romantic date. Oh, and the music is great, anyone who puts the New York Dolls in their soundtrack is alright.

What I've said won't stop 99% of people declaring this movie the worst they have ever seen, and they'd be right. For a mainstream movie, it is truly excruciating. But really, there are a lot worse movies with no redeeming features whatsoever. And I'm still waiting for a real cartoon of...

Hooooooves!

Things I learnt:

• Spinning a newborn not breathing baby like a lasso will revive it.
• People in wheelchairs get off on being kendo sticked in their legs.
• Wind from a helicopter pushes wheelchairs backwards.
• Shaq will appear in anything for money.